Reflections from Riley Dads: “You Are Not Alone”
This June marked the 4th annual Riley Family Day, a heartfelt tradition made possible through a generous partnership with the Indianapolis Indians. Each year, more than 100 family members from across Indiana who participate in Riley Grief Services come together for a pre-game picnic and a day at the ballpark—creating space for joy, remembrance, and community. The day also includes an opportunity to honor bereaved fathers in recognition of Father’s Day.
“Grieving the loss of a child is a profoundly isolating experience. Riley Family Day helps ease that isolation by creating a space where families feel seen, supported, and understood,” shares Cassie Dobbs, Program Coordinator for Riley Grief Services. “This event offers a sense of normalcy, allowing them to engage in a familiar, joyful activity together. It reminds them they are still, and always will be, a part of the Riley community.”
In recognition of National Bereaved Parents Day, we are honored to introduce you to three Riley dads – Clint, Jonathan, and Patrick – who have benefited from Riley Grief Services.
What has been your experience with attending Family Day with the Indianapolis Indians?
Clint Nelson: It is always a great time! We are a family that love Indiana sports so it’s fun to get to spend the day together and watch the Indians play.
Jonathan Sousa: Our experience with Family Day has always been amazing. Our daughter always has a great time with all of the volunteers and all the other kids.
Patrick Baize: It’s nice to have that kind of community. We get to see a lot of the faces outside of a medical context.
What does it mean to you to be a Riley dad?
Jonathan: It’s the fan club that no one wants to join. I’ve met a lot of dads in similar situations, and met other dads with significantly different experiences, and I’ve learned from every one of them. Having that group of guys come together and be able to say what we need to say in an open and safe space is amazing. It hurts and I don’t want to be a part of it but it’s also rewarding and I love being a part of it.
Clint: Some days, I don’t know if I should be happy about being a Riley dad or sad that I had to be a Riley dad. I’m happy to be a Riley dad because Riley is incredible and took wonderful care of our son. I love that we feel like family and love being involved. On the other hand, I wish I didn’t have to be a Riley dad because that would mean I would still have my son.
Patrick: I think it means that you’re someone who has gone through a lot. A lot of times the dads get overlooked – it’s your job to be tough and strong. Riley does a really good job of checking in with everybody and giving the tools and resources they need. Being a Riley dad is very complex but it’s a responsibility. We all have gone through something similar, and if we can, let’s work together to help each other get through it because this is really hard.
Why do you think programs like Riley Grief Services are important for families?
Clint: Grief is extremely hard and comes in all forms. Knowing that there is a free service that you can go to and staff who care deeply for you, your family, and your grief is incredible. They are the most loving, caring, and understanding. I have always felt comfortable with them and hope that others will take advantage of this wonderful service.
Jonathan: Being part of Riley Grief Services has been helpful in understanding that we’re not doing this on our own. There are people out there that understand, that will listen.
Patrick: When you’re dealing with the caliber of life crises that happen from visits to Riley, it’s really important to be able to talk about it and have difficult conversations. The amazing professionals at Riley Grief Services are great facilitators and great at helping people find their voice. That’s a really, really powerful thing.
If you could share a message with other Riley dads, what would you say?
Clint: Dads have feelings and it’s okay to feel those feelings. Don’t feel like less of a man if you need help dealing with the emotions. It will only help you and your family become stronger.
Jonathan: You’re not alone. There are other dads out there who understand.
Patrick: Be strong and ask for what you need. It’s really easy for dads to feel like they have to be tough and quiet. Sometimes the strongest person in the room is the person who says, I’m not doing well and I need to talk to somebody.
We invite you to support Riley Grief Services today in honor of Riley dads like Clint, Jonathan, and Patrick.